Movie Writing

Back in the late 90s, I did some freelance writing about movies for a few different publications. Notably, this was the first time I had ever been paid for my writing.

Rough Cut Article(s)

This was a web magazine from TNT (the cable channel). I wrote for their “Pick a Genre” column, which was a listicle around a selected movie genre.

I can only find one of these, sadly. I pulled it off the Wayback Machine.

I created a section for this, because I know there were more (for example: there was one about Mother’s Day movies that they titled: “Drama for Your Mama”). Perhaps someday I’ll find them.

Anti-Patriotic Movies

For July 4, they asked me to write an article about movies which portrayed America negatively.

MSN and Entertainment Weekly Movie Reviews

In the summer of 1996, I reviewed movies for two outlets – “The Movie Forum” on the original Microsoft Network, and the print magazine Entertainment Weekly. I was paid $250 a month and got a free internet connection for the former. For the latter, I think I got $50-60 per review (they were short-form reviews).

Here are the 19 films I reviewed that summer. I pretty sure that the single-paragraph reviews were for ET, but it’s been over two decades, so I can’t really remember.

ET required me to put a letter-grade on the film, I think I just carried that convention over for the MSN reviews. It’s pretty arbitrary.

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Personal Content

A list of non-tech content that I have created and sometimes maintain.

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Chain Reaction

It’s amazing to me how filmmakers gloss over things they can’t explain. Apparently they think they can just skim by anything ranging from a small inconsistency to a plot hole big enough to swallow Topeka. When the audience inevitably catches on, things just start to slide downhill. Such is the case…

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Courage Under Fire

Courage Under Fire is a superbly crafted wake-up call for all of us who watched a CNN-filtered view of the Gulf War. There’s a misconception among many that Desert Storm was an extraordinarily clean little war. This film – the first major release to deal with the Iraqi conflict – does an honorable…

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Cutthroat Island

Cutthroat Island alternated between boring me and thrilling me. While entertaining, the plot and characters are overshadowed by the breathtaking scenery and the stunts that will make you say “How did they do that?” The film tells the story of lady pirate Morgan Adams, played by Geena Davis. She…

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Eraser

It’s hard watching Arnie try to emote after he’s almost been run over by a 727. That’s the big problem with Eraser . Arnold Schwarsa-whatever plays a Witness Protection agent trying to keep Vanessa Williams alive. She’s absconded from her weapons research lab employer with proof that they’ve been…

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First Strike

Jackie Chan meets James Bond is the basic premise for Chan’s latest collaboration with director Stanley Tong, the super-action film First Strike . Chan is a Hong Kong cop (big surprise) who’s trying to track down a stolen nuclear weapon that’s at risk of falling into the hands of the Russian mafia….

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Fled

Fled is proof-positive that a well-done preview can make any film look good. It’s amazing what some snazzy music and MTV-like editing can do for even the worst of creations. They should award Oscars for these. Laurence Fishburne and Stephan Baldwin are two convicts who escape from a road crew after…

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Independence Day

In this age of political correctness and calculated verbal restraint, it’s refreshing to think that when faced with an alien invasion, the President of the United States would simply respond “Let’s nuke the bastards.” Well, that’s exactly what the President does in Independence Day – this summer’s…

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Maximum Risk

After sitting through The Quest earlier this year, I truly thought that Jean-Claude Van Damme’s career was in its death throes. So I was pleasantly surprised with Maximum Risk – a film which demonstrates that the hyphenated wonder is able to bounce back with all the resilience of the punching dummy…

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Mission Impossible

There must be something about intrigue films that just forces producers to try and make them as complicated as possible. Sometimes they resist the urge and wonderful film-making ensues – No Way Out and The Pelican Brief are two recent examples. But every once in a while, a filmmaker decides that…

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Muppet’s Treasure Island

The Muppets are back in their fifth adventure, this time setting sail on the high seas in search of Captain Flint’s long lost treasure. Loosely based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, Muppet’s Treasure Island brings humans Tim Curry and Kevin Bishop together with countless rascally Muppets in what…

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Rumble in the Bronx

With all the subtlety of a kick in the head, Hong Kong superstar Jackie Chan lands smack dab on American soil in his first bid for mainstream success. Specializing in Chinese Kung Fu and action wild enough to make your teeth shatter, Chan runs from street punks, chases gangsters, and destroys…

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Supercop

Here’s an experiment for you. Take Jean-Claude Van Damme. First make him two-thirds the size, twice as flexible, and ten times as fast. Then mate him with a weed-wacker and jam a IV the size of a fire hose into his arm until you’ve injected him with enough caffeine to make a bull elephant giddy….

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The Nutty Professor

Though he may have had a string of less-than-stellar outings, Eddie Murphy has still got it. You can actually draw a strange parallel between his character in The Nutty Professor and Murphy’s career of late. While Sherman Klump is a wonderful person trapped in a obese body, Murphy has been a…

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The Phantom

There was a time when heroes were simply heroic and villains were simply villainous. A time when every plot was nefarious and every bad guy wanted to rule the world. A time when everything was so wonderfully black and white. If you long for this time again, and wonder why today’s heroes all seem to…

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The Quest

You can always tell when Jean-Claude Van Damme is going to win a fight by watching for the “Eye Shot.” That’s the tight shot of his enraged eyes as he lies on the ground and looks up at the bad guy just before he jumps up and whoops his ass. What’s good about the Eye Shot is that the end of the…

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The Rock

Right on the heels of Executive Decision comes The Rock , a second interpretation of a fairly esoteric formula. While Executive Decision was Die Hard on a plane, The Rock is Die Hard on, well, a rock. Alcatraz to be more specific. Both films involve a madman holding innocent people hostage and…

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A Time to Kill

Welcome to Canton, Mississippi. A place where greasy long-haired rednecks harass innocent black people and everyone is perpetually sweating. This is the setting for the film version of John Grisham’s first novel, A Time to Kill . The film begins with the brutal rape and attempted murder of a…

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Twister

Twister is a rare entry in the action film genre: an action film that the whole family can go see. Think about it: no nudity, no titillation, very little profanity, and all the action is courtesy of Mother Nature. And as an added bonus, Twister will pick you up of your seat, ruthlessly kick your…

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Two If By Sea

While it’s marvelous on a small scale, Two If By Sea falls apart when viewed from a distance. Denis Leary and Sandra Bullock click wonderfully as Frank and Roz; a small time hood and his girlfriend who’ve stolen a $4 million painting. The first 15 minutes set the stage for a splendid road film, but…

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