How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

I enjoy David Brooks. I thought The Second Mountain was amazing.

This book is exactly what the title suggests: how do you really understand someone? Not just pay lip service to them, but how do you really get at the deeper layers of someone.

The book is a good mix of theory and practice. Brooks goes off on some lovely tangents, but in every chapter, he also comes back to practical insights on how to figure out someone.

The subtitle is great:

The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

First, to really see someone is a skill we don’t concentrate on. We evaluate someone only so far as we need to understand them to get what we want. To really see someone is to see them for who they really are, beyond what you need from them.

Second, “and being deeply seen” speaks to the idea that getting to know someone means letting them get to know you at the same time. In being seen, you are seeing them as well.

Lovely book. I need to read it again.