Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition

TLDR: “Would be amazing to read and study in a group. Very dense for a lone reader to absorb.”

Book review by Deane Barker tags: communication, interpersonal 1 min read
An image of the cover of the book "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition"

So, weird situation with this book – I don’t remember a lot about it. I had sitting on my chair table for a month or so. Turns out I read it, I just don’t remember it.

So I paged through it, and I now remember why I don’t remember it – and that’s an interesting point in itself.

The book is so dense, and so full of amazing points and wisdom, and I sort of remember “checking out,” while I was reading it. And this has happened before. I can think of a couple books, like Thanks for the Feedback and Getting to Yes, where I immediately thought, “I need to read this again with a bunch of people in a study group or something…”

And, because of that, I tend to switch into “pre-reading” mode. In my head, I’m thinking, “This isn’t the last time I’ll read this. So I’ll just sort of absorb it, and then I’ll go back with a group and dig through it in-depth.”

Of course, I never do that. It like “perfection procrastination” – the idea and promise of picking through a book like this and learning everything from it is so amazing that I don’t want to actually do it.

This reminds me of a blog post I wrote years ago: Content Firehoses, Absorption Rates, and The Endowment Effect. Not being able to absorb all the content causes us anxiety about all the content we’re “losing.” And that matches my experience with this book – there was just so much there, that I kept getting frustrated because I didn’t have some situation or exercise immediately at hand to reinforce it, so I just knew it was going to fall out of my head.

I really struggled with putting this back on the shelf, because I need to read it again. But I don’t want to do that alone. It’s so good, and so full of lessons, that I just need to read it in a group, and I don’t know what to do about that.

Book Info

Author
Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Emily Gregory
Year
Pages
304
Acquired
  • I have read this book. According to my records, I completed it on .
  • A hardcover copy of this book is currently in my home library.
Links from this – Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well March 9, 2017
Astonishingly good book with a title that doesn’t do it justice. This is one of the most profound books I’ve read on human communication and self-perception. I will re-read this again, likely multiple times.
Links from this – Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In June 12, 2014
This book is kind of the benchmark, I think, for books on negotiating. It was written by three Harvard professors who collectively chair some foundation or think tank about negotiating. And not just business negotiating – many of their examples come from the United Nations, and represent nations...
Links from this – Content Firehoses, Absorption Rates, and The Endowment Effect October 17, 2016
Pushing more content than can be absorbed actually causes feelings of loss and pain.